Housewives of the world, I salute you!
I've been a mom for nearly 10 years, I spent 8 of those years being a stay at home mom, a house wife. I was always downplaying it when asked what I did. "I'm just a mom, or I'm just a housewife" was my typical response. It's not that I didn't think I worked hard, or that I thought of my role as unimportant. But rather the stigma that I had ingrained in my head regarding housewives. The all to well comments and remarks that I had heard my whole life. "How hard can it be to keep the house clean" or "you probably sit around and watch soap opera's all day" and my personal favorite "what a waste of a woman's life" So you can see my hesitation at proudly proclaiming my "homemaker" status.
After my divorce, I quickly entered the corporate world, hell bent to not become another stereotype. I refused to be the woman who lived off of child support. Not to say that there is anything wrong with that, I was just hell bent on landing on my feet, and creating my own independence. And for the most part, I was pretty dang impressed with myself. I managed to balance working 40+ hours a week, while still getting home and having enough time to cook dinner, play with the kids, put them to bed and then tackle all the household chores. My typical day would start at 7:00 am and not end until Midnight. I was sacrificing certain personal luxuries like going to the gym, and social time with friends, but hell, I was working hard and kicking ass while still giving my babies the one on one time they needed. I felt like Supermom.
You know how Superman's one weakness is Kryptonite? I quickly found mine. And while it didn't come in the form of a glowing green rock, it sure packed a punch. Time, my kryptonite was time, or rather the lack of time. I was using my lunch breaks to grocery shop, and clean house, my nights got later and later because of the consistently full laundry baskets, school projects, dishes in the sink, etc. I couldn't keep this pace up, it was quickly catching up with me and I knew it. Not only that, but this left zero time for me, I had to time to transition from work Char to mommy Char and I noticed I was getting more stressed without having that little luxury of some time to simply un-wind. My dad had this routine when he would get home from work. The minute he walked in the door, he played a game of hide and seek with my sister...we loved this and would quickly run and hide when we saw him pulling into the driveway. But immediately after that, he would sit on the couch, in the same corner that he always sat, and read the paper. "I just need 20 minutes" is what he would tell us. "just 20 minutes of quiet" As a child, I never really understood that, he just got home....why does he need time alone still?
Alright, back to the title of this post. I woke up the other morning, walked into the kitchen to make my morning shake and immediately saw the sink full of dishes. It was in that moment that I thought...."man, I wish I had a housewife." I know what you're thinking...just get a maid. But it wasn't that, it was so much more than just having the house clean and the laundry done. It was deeper than that.
I finally understood it, I was living on both sides of the fence and I fully understood each role and the importance of them. The hours I would spend making sure the house was clean, warm and inviting for my husband to come home to. The creativity that I would put into the meals I would make for my family, the little touches I would do here and there that I knew no one would even notice or mention, but would add to the harmony of the home. My house was a home, because I worked to make it that way. And in that moment, while I was still rubbing the sleep out of my house, I was so grateful for my mom, my Aunt Teresa, my Nana, my Grandmother...because all of the wonderful memories I have from being in their homes, all of the childhood vacations, magical holidays, even just being able to plop on the couch and relax, was all due to the love and time they took to make their houses a home. Those women, all over the world...they create harmony. They make their homes a sanctuary to come back to. A place to let go of the stresses of the day, to feel loved, to relax, to let go of everything else and just be.
How easy it was for me to take that for granted, and worse, to downplay my role in that. People always say that being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs out there, but what they don't say is how appreciated it is, how wonderful it is, and how truly important it is.
After my divorce, I quickly entered the corporate world, hell bent to not become another stereotype. I refused to be the woman who lived off of child support. Not to say that there is anything wrong with that, I was just hell bent on landing on my feet, and creating my own independence. And for the most part, I was pretty dang impressed with myself. I managed to balance working 40+ hours a week, while still getting home and having enough time to cook dinner, play with the kids, put them to bed and then tackle all the household chores. My typical day would start at 7:00 am and not end until Midnight. I was sacrificing certain personal luxuries like going to the gym, and social time with friends, but hell, I was working hard and kicking ass while still giving my babies the one on one time they needed. I felt like Supermom.
You know how Superman's one weakness is Kryptonite? I quickly found mine. And while it didn't come in the form of a glowing green rock, it sure packed a punch. Time, my kryptonite was time, or rather the lack of time. I was using my lunch breaks to grocery shop, and clean house, my nights got later and later because of the consistently full laundry baskets, school projects, dishes in the sink, etc. I couldn't keep this pace up, it was quickly catching up with me and I knew it. Not only that, but this left zero time for me, I had to time to transition from work Char to mommy Char and I noticed I was getting more stressed without having that little luxury of some time to simply un-wind. My dad had this routine when he would get home from work. The minute he walked in the door, he played a game of hide and seek with my sister...we loved this and would quickly run and hide when we saw him pulling into the driveway. But immediately after that, he would sit on the couch, in the same corner that he always sat, and read the paper. "I just need 20 minutes" is what he would tell us. "just 20 minutes of quiet" As a child, I never really understood that, he just got home....why does he need time alone still?
Alright, back to the title of this post. I woke up the other morning, walked into the kitchen to make my morning shake and immediately saw the sink full of dishes. It was in that moment that I thought...."man, I wish I had a housewife." I know what you're thinking...just get a maid. But it wasn't that, it was so much more than just having the house clean and the laundry done. It was deeper than that.
I finally understood it, I was living on both sides of the fence and I fully understood each role and the importance of them. The hours I would spend making sure the house was clean, warm and inviting for my husband to come home to. The creativity that I would put into the meals I would make for my family, the little touches I would do here and there that I knew no one would even notice or mention, but would add to the harmony of the home. My house was a home, because I worked to make it that way. And in that moment, while I was still rubbing the sleep out of my house, I was so grateful for my mom, my Aunt Teresa, my Nana, my Grandmother...because all of the wonderful memories I have from being in their homes, all of the childhood vacations, magical holidays, even just being able to plop on the couch and relax, was all due to the love and time they took to make their houses a home. Those women, all over the world...they create harmony. They make their homes a sanctuary to come back to. A place to let go of the stresses of the day, to feel loved, to relax, to let go of everything else and just be.
How easy it was for me to take that for granted, and worse, to downplay my role in that. People always say that being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs out there, but what they don't say is how appreciated it is, how wonderful it is, and how truly important it is.
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